Where to begin? The man of the household who's a control-freak, self-centered, self-denominated prophet and is anxiously awaiting the 2012 apocalypse? An introverted wife willingly heeding his calls, who dabbles in amateur hypnotism and accepts alien abductions and the existence of leprechauns, among other creatures to be truth? How about the dozen or so ailing animals, that I came across, prescribed homeopathy remedies in place of well-accepted veterinarian practices? Or there's the foreman/illegal immigrant unflaggingly performing ninety percent of the farms work without a lick of despondency, in order to support his wife and three kids. With all that's passed off as quality television nowadays, the ass-backwardness nature experienced in my three weeks at Harmony screams to be included in the bunch. Supergrass's Strange Ones could be the opening theme.
My main intention at the farm was to get a feel of livestock, so its only right we start there. Upon my arrival, I was thrown into the proverbial 'deep end of the pool', as I assisted Carlos in putting the animals back from the fields to their respective sleeping quarters. Not surprisingly, as soon as we unleashed the quadrupeds from their roaming spots they immediately rushed back to the barn for the food we had placed earlier. For our feathered friends, the shaking of a pot partially filled with feed did a reasonable enough job coaxing the fowls from the adjacent pond and field to the duck, turkey and chicken houses.
Even for the experienced farmer, its nearly impossible with such an abundance of birds, to con them all at once into their houses. At the end a good day, about ninety percent would follow us all at once. We'd have to make sure to close the doors of the coops as we exited or else risk them following us right back out believing we still had food to give. For the ones who decided not to follow, we had to chase, corral, and/or corner them till we were able to capture and carry em back to their homes. Through Carlos' broken english I learned that it was fine to let any ducks and geese stay outside and they could generally fend for themselves in case any coyotes came by. It was the turkeys and chickens we had to make sure were inside at night. The con pot was pointless on days when it rained and/or we waited till dusk since the fowls were already in a rush to get indoors.
Now onto the four-legged friends category. The glutinous goats are hands down the biggest eaters pound for pound. I could not get the two adult females to milk without bribing them with feed. Additionally, the two young and adult female goats were able to clear an area of blackberry bushes, approximately 100 ft by 25 ft, in about a week with only the skeleton branches remaining. No wonder goat owners in Washington State rent them out to keep control of landscaping along some Department of Transportation Right-of-Ways. On another note, its never a good idea to have the same amount of bucks as females. With the combined testosterone competing for the same female prize, the males will take their aggression out by other means if they are unable to be procreative. Though two of the males were still in the juvenile stage, they were speedily maturing during my stay.
Ananda, the sole cow, was like a ginormous dog. She loved to be pet and was definitely the friendliest of the bunch. The only cow issues I had were: 1) Walking.. er.. pulling her with all my might by the leash to a designated day spot. Every 20 feet along the path she came across a new grassy spot she deemed worth sampling. 2) Her unknowingly stepping on my feet on separate occasions after getting startled from Moon, the owners dog. On the livestock's morning walk to the field, the dog frequently liked harassing the animals.
The two sheep were the messiest. I'll be a happy man if I never have to do sheep shit cleanup doodie, I mean duty, in my life. Every couple weeks, a few hours are reserved for unsoiling the stables and coops. Not recommended for the faint-hearted. Half the time spent clearing the area of manure was exhausted in the 8 by 8 sq ft sheep pin. The alpacas and pig largely kept to themselves during my stay. They were not required to stay in stables at night, largely roamed as they pleased and were happy enough as long as their respective food and water dishes were filled....
Stay tuned for the harvesting and remaining animals, ie the man and woman of the house.
Road Trip Tunes:
Janes Addiction 'Nothing's Sacred' (Nothing's Sacred)
Cat Power 'The Greatest' (Love & Communication)
Johnny Cash 'At Folsom Prison' (Send A Picture Of Mother)
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